We say thank you all through the day.
In the presence of a threat, seen as an ‘unknown’ mass-like-something across the stomach, and a third of the lung of my beloved husband of forty-three years, too clearly visible on three different X-Rays, ‘it’ looked a lot like an unnamed monster. In that first look, I actually felt the nearness of an icy-cold-skeletal-fingered-grip of the grim one.
As the radiology area went weirdly cold, I swear I saw all the hurtful words I had, over our four decades together, uttered in pain, anger and ignorance, printed haphazardly across that ‘mass’.
With that chill I began immediately, quakingly, trembling, with eyes weeping, to say thank you.
Thank you to the Dr. who ordered the XRays to look for Pneumonia. Thank you that it wasn’t Pneumonia.
Thank you that the clinic would ‘take payments’ maybe even for a long time. Thank you for the Bronchitis that made Mr Amazing go to the doctor in first place.Thank you that he could go to reputable, quality clinic and find out, almost know, what was and wasn’t with that mass.
Thank you that I began a serious Odyssey (and I assure you, comparatively, Homer’s was mediocre) with Gratitude, Thankfulness, and Appreciation, and had some twenty years practice in the area.
Thank yous poured out of me, silent, aloud, muttered, mumbled, and clearly articulated. I recalled small and large and petty and magnificent things that made me believe in Thankfulness, Appreciation, and Gratitude and very real works of Healing.
Yes, some people looked at me as if I was crazy. Thank you.
Yes, some people stepped, no, the better word is: shirked away, as if I was crazy. Thank you.
Yes, I was grateful for anything and everything that came to eye, or hand or mind; for paved roads, even badly paved roads, and cars with shock-absorbers, and Charmin toilet paper, and ……………..HOPE. Thank you.
And that there are more healing energies, than not, and if I would keep looking to more healing, there would be.
If I didn’t understand the healing that was happening there would be healing of that too.
Today the call finally came. Not Cancer.
An infection. The doctors aren’t sure the medicine, (five horse-pills in the morning, five horse-pills in the evening) will even work. We might have to look at other options. Thank you.
But for now, and probably days into my future, I’ll say Thank You. I will strive to be grateful in everything.
I
Abbey of Gratitude 